What Mothers are Talking About: The Common Topics and Challenges

Research gathered via Reddit highlights which topics and challenges are most frequently discussed by moms. From the moment a baby is born, the words we use to describe the journey of the mother hold immense power in shaping her reality. This data brings insight into not only the connotations and associations that the terms "postpartum," "postnatal," and "4th trimester" have, but provides insight into the broader themes that mothers focus on. WIth this aspect, it is important for mothers to be validated, listened to, treated as their own/important individual (outside of being "mom"), and have support, whether that be from you as a loved one, a mental health provider, mom support groups, or from a source like Postpartum Support International.

Most Discussed Topics (Percentage of Posts)

Postpartum: Emotional challenges (32%), body changes (27%)

Postnatal: Physical recovery (35%), medical concerns and body changes (both at 29%)

4th Trimester: Emotional challenges (34%) and bonding with baby (25%)

Least Discussed Topics (By Percentage of Posts):

Postpartum: Bonding with baby (9%)

Postnatal: Bonding with baby (0%) and sleep deprivation (0%)

4th Trimester: Support systems (9%)

What Does This Actually Mean?

This data highlights the way that language does matter, as terms hold different connotations, therefore, reflecting and possibly even shaping the content which is shared. This can show up in the conversations about this postbirth period, where if the term "postpartum" is used, it is more likely going to center around the emotional challenges and/or body changes, rather than focusing on the relationship with the infant. This can be seen in the following real reddit posts from one of subreddits I used, in which people said:

When moms use the term "postnatal" to refer to the postbirth period (as found in my data), conversations center on the physical , medical, and body aspects of the mother's experiences, while nothing mentioned the mother-baby relationship or sleep deprivation. This can be seen in the below reddit posts:

Posts that use the term "4th trimester" focus on the emotional challenges and the mother-baby relationship, diverging from the other two terms. While the mother-baby relationship is commonly discussed, the support systems in place are sparce, which might be signaling the lack of support and isolation that these mothers' experience. The following are two reddit posts that display common content:

The data I have included , along with the example posts, reveal the experiences that are commonly discussed with each term. By examining this aspect of maternal health, the areas that are not mentioned frequently with each term point to possible issues that we as support systems/people/mothers can improve. If we only use the term "postpartum" to talk about new motherhood, the experiences and aspects like the mother-baby relationship can be overlooked or unsupported, leading to continued issues with maternal health.

This helps to understand how the words that we all use, and that are specifically used by mothers, alter the conversations and meaning. of this time period.

To help understand why we should all be wanting to improve maternal health, let's briefly look at a broader picture. There is an organization known as OECD (Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development) that includes 38 countries, with the purpose“to set international standards and support their implementation – and help countries forge a path towards stronger, fairer and cleaner societies.” (https://www.oecd.org/en/about.html). In this group of 38 countries, "as of April 2022, all but one OECD country offer paid maternity and paternity leave around childbirth at the national level," (OECD).The one country who does not offer paid parental time off on the national level is the US. Going further, there has been many studies and movements to improve the maternity/parental leave within the US, as results show that the places with longer paid maternity leave have lower infant mortality rate (Gettier, 9), alongisde improved maternal health. As the larger government has not built a supportive, inviting, safe, or positive environment for new mothers, it is more imperative for all of us to learn and foster the community that we should have. Often, there is a phrase that is used when talking about motherhood, which is "it takes a village," however, the data I have collected points to the absence of a village.

Too often the language and terms of "postpartum," "postnatal," and "4th trimester," to share and refer to the postbirth period frame this time as a negative and solitary journey. My research shows that these discussions around the postbirth period often lack support systems and community during this time or when reminiscing. The silence/absence is not just a gap in select conversations, but a meaningful reflection on larger cultural expectations which surrounds motherhood and new motherhood.

As an anthropologist, language is a key tool that helps examine ways that people experience reality, and language (just like culture) can shape that reality too. With this, if we want to improve the experiences of the new mothers close to us, along with all new moms, we must think and refine the way we talk about it. In the absence (especially the growing absence) of the larger, institutional support, it is up to us to decid to become that village: to check in, offer help without waiting to be asked, validate and listen to the women—as individual women and as mothers—when talking about their experiences, in a visible, valued, and caring way.